Dear Mother Nature,
I know that you like to joke around with us, and most of the time we deserve your meteorological pranks. You know, since we pumped all of those CFC’s in your face and whatnot. Some of your humor could even fall into the trenchant category. We laugh every time we think about you making Jim Inhofe sweat through his suit during those special interests afternoon power walks. Here’s the thing though…I think it’s time you give me a friggin’ break this winter. I know it’s probably been a cumulous cloud-full of laughs to play yo-yo with the mercury the past four months, and I’m sure giving me 27 separate colds in that amount of time has been a real side-splitter. But, seriously, cut the crap or I’m going to spray my vintage ’87 Aquanet right in your damn eye.
Times New Viking – Mean God from Rip It Off (Matador; 2008)