Daily Archives: March 10, 2008

Sally Kern is a Bigger Threat Than Terrorism

Here is a letter I sent to Rep. Sally Kern:

Dear Mrs. Kern,
Until your recent pithy remarks about homosexuality, we Oklahomans had to rely primarily on ol’ Jimmy Inhofe to supply America with reasons to view our state as an intellectual wasteland.  It is heartening to hear that you are picking up the Neanderthal slack in presenting our state as a cultural vacuum of vapid hate.  Though, if gays (oh how your parched mouth wishes to ejaculate the low bandwidth-approved “faggots” instead) are a bigger threat to America than “terrorists or Islam”, shouldn’t we pull out of Iraq and penetrate this abhorrent, insidious membrane of sinful behavior with military action?  I’m sure that if we could posthumously poll the dead of 9/11 they would mark anal sex as a more pressing threat than global Jihad.  I imagine that it gets you in an orgiastic state to imagine a world free of consenting homosexual behavior, a world where boy-baiting priests and Deuteronomy-quoting evangelists can once and for all claim a monopoly on rectal recreation.  Please allow me to offer my apologies for the “darkies” as well.  Their continued desegregation must really chafe your sweet southern sensibilities.  Guten Tag, Frau Kern! 
Christopher Piercy

Here is Rep. Kern attempting to steal the idiocy limelight from Jim Inhoffe:


Friendly Lists: Tyler Dempsey

Today’s super special sauce guest list is by Tyler Dempsey, lead banjo-diddler of All These Teepees.   
Favorite Songs of the Past Year: I really liked “Tonto” by Battles, it reminded me of a math equation, you know, a sexy sort of math equation. “Bamboo Banga” by M.I.A. and “I Woke Up Today” by Port O’Brien got a lot of play too.

Favorite Older Songs of the Moment: It would have to be “Bring the Rain” by Neil Young. I’m not certain what album it was even on, I found it on this mix somewhere, but it kind of blends all of Young’s strongpoints. The version I have is a live recording, very tender, like the staring at a snow mountain sort of tender. Also, Michael Jackson has controlled some of my attention lately.

Favorite New Band or Older Band You Recently Discovered:
This isn’t so recent, but it is the most excited I have gotten in recent memory about a band. It’s this band Aphrodite’s Child and they are from Greece and recorded in the late 60’s and early 70’s if I’m not mistaken. Their opus was this experimental record entitled “666“, which is braggable. Anyways its like The Beatles, The Beach Boys, and Aesop sat around smoking pot and talking the Book of Revelation from the Christian Bible. A lot of the two discs is pretty out there, and some of it is just transcendental. A new band that I’m excited about is Fire on Fire, recently signed to Young God, they have a song called “Heavy D” that is the putting into song what you have always known. Timeless stuff.

Favorite Song Ever:
Can’t answer that…maybe “Comfortably Numb.”

Best Recent Concert:
Probably Justice at the Palladium in Dallas, TX. More of a party than a concert, and more of a best time had by all than a best show.

Last Great Film I Saw:
“No Country For Old Men” is the best film I have seen in quite some time.

Last Great Book I Read:
A book called “Too Loud a Solitude” by Bohumil Hrabal, might have to check the spelling on that, but it is about this guy who compacts paper and educates himself from the bits of books he salvages. It’s really about the indestructability of knowledge and all that, beautifully written and very intelligently done.

First Album You Remember Buying:
Green Day’s “Dookie” on cassette.

Favorite Band to Hate On That All Your Friends Heart:
I really hate to “Hate On” anything really, Kurt Vonnegut has a quote that I love about criticizing a work of art being like putting on a suit of armor and attacking an ice cream sunday. But if I had to pick it would be RJD2…never liked em’.

Best Purchase of the Last Year:
Nothing memorable, I really don’t buy a ton of stuff.

Best Thing I Did This Year:
The Justice show in Dallas…hands down.

Favorite Recent Drunk Moment:
All of them, why else get drunk than for moments.

Favorite TV Show at the Moment:
“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”

Favorite Video Game at the Moment:
Haven’t played one in a long time, favorite all time would be “Final Fantasy VII”

Most Commonly Eaten Food Product:
Probably a burrito, but they give me graboids in my tum tum.

My Ringtone:
Some pre-setting.