Here is a letter I sent to Rep. Sally Kern:
Dear Mrs. Kern,
Until your recent pithy remarks about homosexuality, we Oklahomans had to rely primarily on ol’ Jimmy Inhofe to supply America with reasons to view our state as an intellectual wasteland. It is heartening to hear that you are picking up the Neanderthal slack in presenting our state as a cultural vacuum of vapid hate. Though, if gays (oh how your parched mouth wishes to ejaculate the low bandwidth-approved “faggots” instead) are a bigger threat to America than “terrorists or Islam”, shouldn’t we pull out of Iraq and penetrate this abhorrent, insidious membrane of sinful behavior with military action? I’m sure that if we could posthumously poll the dead of 9/11 they would mark anal sex as a more pressing threat than global Jihad. I imagine that it gets you in an orgiastic state to imagine a world free of consenting homosexual behavior, a world where boy-baiting priests and Deuteronomy-quoting evangelists can once and for all claim a monopoly on rectal recreation. Please allow me to offer my apologies for the “darkies” as well. Their continued desegregation must really chafe your sweet southern sensibilities. Guten Tag, Frau Kern!
Here is Rep. Kern attempting to steal the idiocy limelight from Jim Inhoffe: