Tonight Sufjan is Penning a Postscript

I have never written seventy-six pages on one subject in my life (that dissertation on Prince’s “Erotic City” is only up to fifty-two); so how does the Illinois governor, Rod Blogojevich, feel about having a seventy-six page complaint filed against him and his chief of staff?  What would I, Christopher Piercy, have to do to get someone to write seventy-six pages about moi?  I have been trying to cause scandals for YEARS now, and the worst I’ve ever gotten is passive-aggressive emails from Baptist youth ministers (ah, First Baptist Praise and Warship Band). 

Perhaps all it would require is somehow worming my way into Illinois politics.  Hey, I’ve been drunk in Chicago too!  In the midst of all this Blago blogging, it’s important to note that TWO previous Illinois governors are already serving prison sentences (George Ryan and Dan Walker).  Illinois is apparently the Cincinnati Bengals of political police-bating.  In that wobbly analogy, I guess Barack would be a less injury-prone Carson Palmer: the calm, handsome guy with a stellar passer rating.  Ahem, this is why I don’t usually write about sports or politics…I can’t tell the damn difference.

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the daunting scope of Blagojevich’s misconduct (this guy really delayed building a children’s addition to a hospital because his campaign contributors were late with their forkin’ over?  Cold as ice, man.)

Any scandal which involves Wrigley Field, promises of government assistance in exchange for the ousting of editorial writers critical of said government, attempting to sell a Senate seat the way you would scalp a Bulls ticket, and calling the President-elect a “motherfucker” seems too epic to be true.  But in the same year that Axl Rose attempts to sue Dr. Pepper AND a black man is elected president?  Apparently 2008 was the year of the epic.  Come on, feel the Illinoise!

Advertisements

One response to “Tonight Sufjan is Penning a Postscript

  1. Before we turn down the sheets on Blagojevich’s prison cot, let’s see transcripts of him actually making a money deal or power deal with somebody for the Senate seat. Even U.S. Attorney Fitzgerald says his office isn’t “trying to criminalize people making political horse trades on policies or that sort of thing.”
    As for other possibly criminal conduct by Blagojevich—such as attempting to shake down corporations for campaign contributions in return for state funding—he appears oblivious to how easy it is to legally swap political favors for position, power, and money. And for that ignorance the governor has my complete sympathy.

    http://www.slate.com/id/2206442/?from=rss

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s