Since I have so few Twitter friendz (big up Sarah and Judd!), I decided to post all the things I so eloquently spat (with the help of Travis and Blake) onto that stupid net service during the Grammy telecast. I know, I know…you can thank me by buying the next round of cocaine.
In order of beautiful appearance:
Did Bono just shit his pants?
And Jennifer Hudson forgot to take off her lobster bib.
Fact: JT’s jacket is made from clean-burning coal.
Grammy Think Tank: “How do we make the Al Green performance more urban? 7 second Keith Urban guitar solo?”
Chris Martin and His Magical Microphone of Many Colours…plus Beyonce’s husband.
What’s a woman doing playing lead guitar in a country band? You s’posed to be barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen.
Thanks Kid Rock, Jesus is rolling over in his grave. (Meta note: May have gone too far on this one.)
I have nothing mean to say about Miley or Taylor. This song means so much to me personally.
Why would Stevie agree to play with New Kids on the Block? Is he bliiiiinnnd?
Confucius say: do the Jonas Bros. even have wieners?
Katy Perry sporting Lucille Ball’s dress from when she performed at the Tropicana.
Glad to see Yeezy is bringing back the Eric Dickerson haircut.
Who let this turtle with a cowboy hat on the stage?
Kenny Chesney is kinda like the Jimmy Buffett for cousin rapers.
I can’t wait for Best Cassingle of the Year.
This song is illa than water breaking.
The first Grammy birth goes to…
I realllllly hope Krist Noveselic comes out, steals Paul’s bass, throws it into the air and gets whomped in the noggin.
Ringo’s drums are slowly weeping.
Travis says: She looks like she would be a good mom.
I’m happy that Radiohead has finally discovered their inner-Fleetwood Mac circa Tusk .
Wish Swagga Like Us had been followed by Live performing “Lightning Crashes”…for obvious, disgusting reasons.
Glad to see Ray Charles is still performing.
I wish someone would make a comedy about some guys who are obsessed with Neil Diamond…blah blah blah
Bo Diddley: King of Referring to Himself in the Third Person.
Damn the immobility of the piano.
Lil Wayne: Greatest Heel Clicker Alive!
1994 called, they want their soul back Green Day.
And the winner is…Jimmy Paige and David Coverdale.
Not many people can pull off the receding dreadlock look…ok…no one can. GOODNIGHT! I’ll be here all week.
See? Now don’t you wish you were on Twitter, wasting your virtual life away with me?