Daily Archives: February 19, 2009

“Barack Obama Is Tired of Your Motherfucking Shit”

You know, all this talk of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act  and the looming threat of international economic instability sometimes tends to overwhelm our national consciousness, drawing our attention from the more important goings-on of our new administration — namely, the fact that President Obama is the narrator of the audiobook version of his autobiographical account on race relations, Dreams from My Father, and that, in an unprecedented display of presidential foresight, he has left the American people with a few auditory gems to play out of context for the benefit of our own sophomoric amusement. 

Reader, amuse thyself.

We’re surprised the McCain campaign didn’t dig up some of these files  in a desperate 11th hour attempt to smear the Obama ticket. A mangled audio clip of the then Illinois Senator contending “There are white folks, and then there are ignorant mothafuckas like you. . .” played over a grainy image of Jeremiah Wright — arms raised, goddamning America — would have done much to tease the embers of the not-so-thinly-veiled racism that seemed to follow the Straight-Talk Express as it waddled aimlessly, like a nursing home patient on the lamb, through untended roads of God’s own heartland.


Oil and Filter

“How did the operation go?

Were they able to reconnect

your carburetor and replace your

spark plugs?

And what about that lump you found

in your glove compartment?

Was that as benign as the feelings

about your last mechanic?

You know I try to keep up with the intricacies

of your oil changes and birth control


but sometimes I get too caught up

in my favorite T.V. shows.

Do you think they’ll ever turn

reality programming into true horror

snuff films?

Just last night I saw a condom commercial

followed by a tampon commercial

followed by a car commercial

and I found myself unable to tell the difference.

I think we have discussed where I stand on this,

but do you think there is anything

beyond blood, semen, and motor oil?”



Pale Saints – “Half-Life”

From the “Half-Life” EP (4AD Records, 1990)