“How did the operation go?
Were they able to reconnect
your carburetor and replace your
spark plugs?
And what about that lump you found
in your glove compartment?
Was that as benign as the feelings
about your last mechanic?
You know I try to keep up with the intricacies
of your oil changes and birth control
techniques,
but sometimes I get too caught up
in my favorite T.V. shows.
Do you think they’ll ever turn
reality programming into true horror
snuff films?
Just last night I saw a condom commercial
followed by a tampon commercial
followed by a car commercial
and I found myself unable to tell the difference.
I think we have discussed where I stand on this,
but do you think there is anything
beyond blood, semen, and motor oil?”
–Chris
