Category Archives: Fiction?

Happyland ’09 Lineup Revealed(?)



Happyland ’08 was, by all accounts, a rousing success.  Happyland ’09 is still a few months away, but today a tentative lineup was released to the press:


The ’85 Chicago Bears

Analogue Radio on the T.V.

Argyle Sex

Arnold Wafflestain

The Ass Whigs

Blind Man Willie’s Johnson

Bowler Hats for the Dance Floor

Brian Noblock’s Bruised Ego

Bruce Springsteen

Censorship for Clouds


Crystal Wolf Trend

Dave Davies’ Sad Panda Band

de Sade and the Ampersands

The Etruscan Boogie

Experimental Cow Patties

Experts in Brinksmanship

Fertility Artist

Fester in Filth

The First Baptist Praise and Warship Band

Gatorade for Hitler


Jack Johnson

Jilted Marmalade

The Jump Rope Kids


Keshia Knight Pulliam as Rudith Lillian “Rudy” Huxtable

The Kinder Jump Rope Kids

Lolz Zeppelin

Mad Season Tribute Band

The Mighty Inch

Obligatory Pummeling

Pastiche of Assorted Musical Heroes

Phlamenco Phred and His Phunky Philistines

Picket Flower

Poison (Bel Biv DeVoe tribute act)

Rasta Safari

Rich Man’s Eight Track

Reginald and the Minor Hobbyists

Saul Pauline’s Sao Paulo Arch Wizard Cheesestacks


Shit Byrds


The Squid Wonkers


The Thyroids

Tom Nickerson

The Unrecognized


Women Pumping Iron

Viper Reflexes

Z.Z. Tots



Totally True Teepee Tales, Part One

Caught in the Snacked 
After consuming three McFlurrys late last night, and after he promptly kerbarfled on the couch, Tyler Dempsey reportedly went on a whirlwind lovemaking wing-dang-doodle.  A consuming desire to consummate a lubricious lust left seventeen pregnant in his hanky-panky path of prurience.  When pressed for comment, Tyler giggled and said, “This girly gaggle is gobbling something turkey, for I remember not a busty bacchanalia!”  However, considering his constant consumption of liquid courage, it is quite likely this Roman romp was nixed from Tyler’s noggin something nuclear.