Category Archives: Local Politiks

“Do You Realize that Oklahoma Is Home to People Other than Toby Keith and Garth Brooks??”

Suck it, Oral Roberts.

The Oklahoma House of Representatives doesn’t have a very impressive track record when it comes to progressive legislation, so it should come as no surprise that they don’t have very good taste in music either. Senate Joint Resolution 24, which would have immortalized the Flaming Lips transcendent Yoshimi cut “Do You Realize??” as the state’s official rock song, was defeated in the House yesterday by a vote of 48 to 39.

Mike Reynolds (R-OKC) took issue with the band’s “reputation for obscene language,” while rep. Corey Holland’s delicate sensibilities were offended by Michael Ivins’ pinko wardrobe.  On a related note, neither Holland nor Reynolds have ever heard rock music.

Luckily, Oklahoma governer Brad Henry (D) plans to sign an executive order next Tuesday honoring the will of his constituents, who voted overwhelmingly for the Lips in an online poll, and officially recognize that everyone you know someday will die:

“The music of the Flaming Lips has earned Grammys, glowing critical acclaim and fans all over the world,” the governor said. “A truly iconic rock n’ roll band, they are proud ambassadors of their home state.

“They were clearly the people’s choice, and I intend to honor that vote.”

[Courtesy of NewsOK.com]

I was born and raised in Oklahoma and, while it may seem insignificant, I truly feel a sense of real victory from a executive measure like this. It’s high time that Oklahoma rightly honor its significant creative voices. Oklahomans — and residents of the South, in general — have a hard enough time battling the stereotype that we’re know-nothing, uncultured rednecks with disdain for the “faggier” elements of society (i.e. the Arts).

The truth is that Oklahoma has given to the world the likes of Ralph Ellison, Woody Guthrie, N. Scott Momaday, Bill Moyers, and — of course — The Lips. These people have respectively made the world a better, stranger and more creative place; we should celebrate that.  Yet, if you were to walk the halls of any given public school during Oklahoma History Month, you’d think the state produced nothing but country singers and cowboys.

While most fellow Okies might not give the proper respect to the merits of Momaday’s House Made of Dawn or Ellison’s Invisible Man as opposed to, say, the staggering idiocy of Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue,” I for one am thrilled to think that symbolic measures are being taken to remind us all that artistry isn’t dead in the South.

Jezy

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Experiments in D’oh!: Oklahoma Politicians Do It Again

evolution2

Just when you think Oklahoma politicians might be learning to keep their mouths shut rather than risk embarrassing the state…Rep. Todd Thomsen writes a Resolution admonishing the University of Oklahoma for inviting Richard Dawkins to speak about *gasp* Evolution.

I have been out of town, thus I’m getting around to this a bit late, but below are the two bills he presented:

STATE OF OKLAHOMA
1st Session of the 52nd Legislature (2009)
HOUSE
RESOLUTION 1014
By: Thomsen todd.thomsen@okhouse.gov

AS INTRODUCED

< StartFT >A Resolution expressing disapproval of the actions of the University of Oklahoma to indoctrinate students in the theory of evolution; opposing the invitation to Richard Dawkins to speak on campus; and directing distribution.< EndFT >

WHEREAS, the University of Oklahoma is a publicly funded institution which should be open to all ideas and should train students in all disciplines of study and research and to use independent thinking and free inquiry, not indoctrinate students in one-sided study and thinking; and

WHEREAS, the Department of Zoology at the University of Oklahoma has, as evidenced on the departmental homepage, been framing the Darwinian theory of evolution as doctrinal dogmatism rather than a hypothetical construction within the disciplines of the sciences; and

WHEREAS, not only has the Department of Zoology at the University of Oklahoma been engaged in one-sided indoctrination of an unproven and unpopular theory but has made an effort to brand all thinking in dissent of this theory as anti-intellectual and backward rather than nurturing such free thinking and allowing a free discussion of all ideas which is the primary purpose of a university; and

WHEREAS, the University of Oklahoma has planned a year-long celebration of the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin and the 150th anniversary of Darwin’s controversial theory of evolution, called the “Darwin 2009 Project”, which includes a series of lectures, public speakers, and a course on the history of evolution; and

WHEREAS, the University of Oklahoma, as a part of the Darwin 2009 Project, has invited as a public speaker on campus, Richard Dawkins of Oxford University, whose published opinions, as represented in his 2006 book “The God Delusion”, and public statements on the theory of evolution demonstrate an intolerance for cultural diversity and diversity of thinking and are views that are not shared and are not representative of the thinking of a majority of the citizens of Oklahoma; and

WHEREAS, the invitation for Richard Dawkins to speak on the campus of the University of Oklahoma on Friday, March 6, 2009, will only serve to further the indoctrination engaged in by the Department of Zoology at the University of Oklahoma by presenting a biased philosophy on the theory of evolution to the exclusion of all other divergent considerations rather than teaching a scientific concept.

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES OF THE 1ST SESSION OF THE 52ND OKLAHOMA LEGISLATURE:

THAT the Oklahoma House of Representatives hereby expresses its disapproval of the current indoctrination of the Darwinian theory of evolution at the University of Oklahoma and further requests that an open, dignified, and fair discussion of this idea and all other ideas be engaged in on campus which is the approach that a public institution should be engaged in and which represents the desire and interest of the citizens of Oklahoma.

THAT the Oklahoma House of Representative strongly opposes the invitation to speak on the campus of the University of Oklahoma to Richard Dawkins of Oxford University, whose published statements on the theory of evolution and opinion about those who do not believe in the theory are contrary and offensive to the views and opinions of most citizens of Oklahoma.

THAT a copy of this resolution be transmitted to the President of the University of Oklahoma, the Dean of the College of Arts and Science at the University of Oklahoma, and the Chair of the Department of Zoology at the University of Oklahoma.

52-1-7145 < KB > < 03/02/09 >


STATE OF OKLAHOMA
1st Session of the 52nd Legislature (2009)
HOUSE RESOLUTION 1015
By: Thomsen todd.thomsen@okhouse.gov

AS INTRODUCED

< StartFT >A Resolution opposing the invitation to Richard Dawkins to speak on campus; encouraging the University of Oklahoma to engage in a certain discussion of certain scientific theories; and directing distribution.< EndFT >

WHEREAS, the University of Oklahoma is a publicly funded institution which should be open to all ideas and should train students in all disciplines of study and research and to use independent thinking and free inquiry; and

WHEREAS, the University of Oklahoma has planned a year-long celebration of the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin and the 150th anniversary of Darwin’s theory of evolution, called the “Darwin 2009 Project”, which includes a series of lectures, public speakers, and a course on the history of evolution; and

WHEREAS, the University of Oklahoma, as a part of the Darwin 2009 Project, has invited as a public speaker on campus, Richard Dawkins of Oxford University, whose published opinions, as represented in his 2006 book “The God Delusion”, and public statements on the theory of evolution demonstrate an intolerance for cultural diversity and diversity of thinking and are views that are not shared and are not representative of the thinking of a majority of the citizens of Oklahoma; and

WHEREAS, the invitation for Richard Dawkins to speak on the campus of the University of Oklahoma on Friday, March 6, 2009, will only serve to present a biased philosophy on the theory of evolution to the exclusion of all other divergent considerations rather than teaching a scientific concept.

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES OF THE 1ST SESSION OF THE 52ND OKLAHOMA LEGISLATURE:

THAT the Oklahoma House of Representative strongly opposes the invitation to speak on the campus of the University of Oklahoma to Richard Dawkins of Oxford University, whose published statements on the theory of evolution and opinion about those who do not believe in the theory are contrary and offensive to the views and opinions of most citizens of Oklahoma.

THAT the Oklahoma House of Representatives encourages the University of Oklahoma to engage in an open, dignified, and fair discussion of the Darwinian theory of evolution and all other scientific theories which is the approach that a public institution should be engaged in and which represents the desire and interest of the citizens of Oklahoma.

THAT a copy of this resolution be transmitted to the President of the University of Oklahoma, the Dean of the College of Arts and Science at the University of Oklahoma, and the Chair of the Department of Zoology at the University of Oklahoma.

Here’s the introduction to Dawkins’ speech:

I suppose Mr. Thomsen has nothing better to do than write inconsequential bills that will assure him plenty of Baptist Bucks in the future.  Evolution appears to be stuck in a bar ditch next to Wal-Mart.

Chris

Sally Kern Petition (and a Letter by Chris Franklin)

Please take a moment to sign the petition requesting to remove Sally Kern from her office:

 http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/request-to-terminate-sally-kerns-position-house-of-representatives

Here is my friend Chris Franklin’s personal letter to Rep. Kern: 
Subject line: “The apologies you owe”

Dear Representative Kern,

I called your office earlier this afternoon. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you weren’t available. After all, smearing minorities isn’t an after 4:00 kind of job, I suppose.

I believe that the voice mail that I left you conveyed my general disgust with your comments on this “homosexual agenda” you speak of, but the more I think about it, the more it just makes me want to vomit.

First of all, I’ve lived in Oklahoma for most of my life. I’ve moved to Texas a few times, but I’ve always come back (for obvious reasons). Oklahoma is the state I’ve always called home, and I’ve always defended it from slander, especially of the Texan variety. I feel like your statements aren’t helping Oklahoma progress into the 21st century, and if anything, they are more espoused to the Strom Thurmound segregationist nightmare of the past than they are the teachings of Jesus Christ. Your statements are not only crude, abhorring acts of bigotry, but they also make it very clear that you are only pandering to your conservative constituency. How dare you hide behind your flawed misinterpretations of the teachings of Jesus Christ just to get yourself some more political clout.

Blasphemy. All in a day’s work. Am I right Representative?

I’d stop there, but I don’t feel like that’s enough. I’m not a homosexual myself, but I feel like being tolerant to other people is the very least that can be asked of a human being, much less what the Bible teaches. You may not agree with their actions, but to compare homosexuals to Islamic terrorists is grievously skewed at best. And I can’t help but gasp at the audacity it must’ve taken to go so far as to say that they’re more dangerous than Islamic fundamentalists. I dare you to say that to the 9-11 victims and families.

Although I didn’t vote for you, I think it’s in your best interest to apologize to the so-called “Gay Community” (who didn’t vote for you or your archaic hate-mongering either). I demand, however, that you beg for the forgiveness of the 9-11 families, and hope that they are as merciful as you are thoughtless.

I hate to be condescending, but I don’t feel very well represented by your prehistoric views on modern society. I’d say that 50 years ago when there was a “black problem”, you would’ve fit right in. This is the 21st century. This is America. This is Oklahoma, the state I call home. And there’s no room in it for people like you to be in any sort of leadership role until you can prove that you’re willing to keep up with the times, or at the very least pretend to possess the Christian compassion and virtues that you claim to hold so dearly.

I think that an apology would be in your best interest. I’d hate to be grouped with people like yourself in the national spotlight as some backwards Oklahoman cave-person. And plus, I don’t think it’s going to do much for your image on a national level, either. But I suppose if you cared about that, we wouldn’t be having this correspondence, would we?

I look forward to your reply and/or your apology. Thank you.

Sincerely disgusted,
Chris Franklin

Sally Strikes Back

Ed.–This is a work of fiction.  Sally Korn is a fictional character and these are her silly, poorly written words.  She should not to be confused with the very real Sally Kern and her silly, poorly thought-out words.

Dear Christopher Piercy,

Thank you for your kind comments.  It is good to see that my constituents agree that homosexualities is a scary and dangerous plague on our Christian society.  While I agree with you that segregation was probably a mistake, I think that maybe we shouldn’t offend the negro by calling them “darkies”.  In order to be successful in indoctrinating others (especially 2 year olds–them being our most precious vessels) it is important to use some political tact.  Even when it pains us to do so.  Anyway, back to the gays…their flamboyant and obnoxious behavior, their vulgar techno dancing music, and their outright rape of good, clean American culture has to come to a stop.  We can not stand by as these sequined terrorists continue to take over our nation!  Thank you for standing with me on this issue and understanding how dangerous the queer agenda really is.

God Bless,

Rep. Sally Korn

These three things are equally scary and dangerous:

ayman_al_zawahiri.jpg

180px-suri-alpaca.jpg

al017b.jpg

But nothing is as dangerous as one of these!:

GAYYYYYYY!!!

Sally Kern is a Bigger Threat Than Terrorism

Here is a letter I sent to Rep. Sally Kern:

Dear Mrs. Kern,
Until your recent pithy remarks about homosexuality, we Oklahomans had to rely primarily on ol’ Jimmy Inhofe to supply America with reasons to view our state as an intellectual wasteland.  It is heartening to hear that you are picking up the Neanderthal slack in presenting our state as a cultural vacuum of vapid hate.  Though, if gays (oh how your parched mouth wishes to ejaculate the low bandwidth-approved “faggots” instead) are a bigger threat to America than “terrorists or Islam”, shouldn’t we pull out of Iraq and penetrate this abhorrent, insidious membrane of sinful behavior with military action?  I’m sure that if we could posthumously poll the dead of 9/11 they would mark anal sex as a more pressing threat than global Jihad.  I imagine that it gets you in an orgiastic state to imagine a world free of consenting homosexual behavior, a world where boy-baiting priests and Deuteronomy-quoting evangelists can once and for all claim a monopoly on rectal recreation.  Please allow me to offer my apologies for the “darkies” as well.  Their continued desegregation must really chafe your sweet southern sensibilities.  Guten Tag, Frau Kern! 
Lovies,
Christopher Piercy

Here is Rep. Kern attempting to steal the idiocy limelight from Jim Inhoffe:

Ryan McMahan For Pontotoc County Chair

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Ryan McMahan for County Chair – Pontotoc County!

Hello my fellow Americans,

I would like to take this time, to announce that I am officially running for the position of County Chair this Saturday in the Pontotoc District of Oklahoma, USA. I will be going up against current County Chairman, John McMahan.

We need your vote!

-This Saturday at 9:00 a.m.-11:30 a.m.
Ada Chamber of Commerce
300 W. Main St.
Ada OK 74820.
-If you vote for me all of your wildest dreams will come true.
-I promise to represent you, the tax paying citizens of Pontotoc County.

* Has never been “Lobbied”
* Believes in God
* Made an A in U.S. Government at ECU
* Understands social problems at the local level
* Never taken a Government Paid Junket
* Has Never voted to raise Taxes.
* Man of Principle and Honor

– This message has been approved and paid for by the McMahan campaign –