Tag Archives: scandal

Tonight Sufjan is Penning a Postscript

I have never written seventy-six pages on one subject in my life (that dissertation on Prince’s “Erotic City” is only up to fifty-two); so how does the Illinois governor, Rod Blogojevich, feel about having a seventy-six page complaint filed against him and his chief of staff?  What would I, Christopher Piercy, have to do to get someone to write seventy-six pages about moi?  I have been trying to cause scandals for YEARS now, and the worst I’ve ever gotten is passive-aggressive emails from Baptist youth ministers (ah, First Baptist Praise and Warship Band). 

Perhaps all it would require is somehow worming my way into Illinois politics.  Hey, I’ve been drunk in Chicago too!  In the midst of all this Blago blogging, it’s important to note that TWO previous Illinois governors are already serving prison sentences (George Ryan and Dan Walker).  Illinois is apparently the Cincinnati Bengals of political police-bating.  In that wobbly analogy, I guess Barack would be a less injury-prone Carson Palmer: the calm, handsome guy with a stellar passer rating.  Ahem, this is why I don’t usually write about sports or politics…I can’t tell the damn difference.

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the daunting scope of Blagojevich’s misconduct (this guy really delayed building a children’s addition to a hospital because his campaign contributors were late with their forkin’ over?  Cold as ice, man.)

Any scandal which involves Wrigley Field, promises of government assistance in exchange for the ousting of editorial writers critical of said government, attempting to sell a Senate seat the way you would scalp a Bulls ticket, and calling the President-elect a “motherfucker” seems too epic to be true.  But in the same year that Axl Rose attempts to sue Dr. Pepper AND a black man is elected president?  Apparently 2008 was the year of the epic.  Come on, feel the Illinoise!

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Sally Kern Petition (and a Letter by Chris Franklin)

Please take a moment to sign the petition requesting to remove Sally Kern from her office:

 http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/request-to-terminate-sally-kerns-position-house-of-representatives

Here is my friend Chris Franklin’s personal letter to Rep. Kern: 
Subject line: “The apologies you owe”

Dear Representative Kern,

I called your office earlier this afternoon. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you weren’t available. After all, smearing minorities isn’t an after 4:00 kind of job, I suppose.

I believe that the voice mail that I left you conveyed my general disgust with your comments on this “homosexual agenda” you speak of, but the more I think about it, the more it just makes me want to vomit.

First of all, I’ve lived in Oklahoma for most of my life. I’ve moved to Texas a few times, but I’ve always come back (for obvious reasons). Oklahoma is the state I’ve always called home, and I’ve always defended it from slander, especially of the Texan variety. I feel like your statements aren’t helping Oklahoma progress into the 21st century, and if anything, they are more espoused to the Strom Thurmound segregationist nightmare of the past than they are the teachings of Jesus Christ. Your statements are not only crude, abhorring acts of bigotry, but they also make it very clear that you are only pandering to your conservative constituency. How dare you hide behind your flawed misinterpretations of the teachings of Jesus Christ just to get yourself some more political clout.

Blasphemy. All in a day’s work. Am I right Representative?

I’d stop there, but I don’t feel like that’s enough. I’m not a homosexual myself, but I feel like being tolerant to other people is the very least that can be asked of a human being, much less what the Bible teaches. You may not agree with their actions, but to compare homosexuals to Islamic terrorists is grievously skewed at best. And I can’t help but gasp at the audacity it must’ve taken to go so far as to say that they’re more dangerous than Islamic fundamentalists. I dare you to say that to the 9-11 victims and families.

Although I didn’t vote for you, I think it’s in your best interest to apologize to the so-called “Gay Community” (who didn’t vote for you or your archaic hate-mongering either). I demand, however, that you beg for the forgiveness of the 9-11 families, and hope that they are as merciful as you are thoughtless.

I hate to be condescending, but I don’t feel very well represented by your prehistoric views on modern society. I’d say that 50 years ago when there was a “black problem”, you would’ve fit right in. This is the 21st century. This is America. This is Oklahoma, the state I call home. And there’s no room in it for people like you to be in any sort of leadership role until you can prove that you’re willing to keep up with the times, or at the very least pretend to possess the Christian compassion and virtues that you claim to hold so dearly.

I think that an apology would be in your best interest. I’d hate to be grouped with people like yourself in the national spotlight as some backwards Oklahoman cave-person. And plus, I don’t think it’s going to do much for your image on a national level, either. But I suppose if you cared about that, we wouldn’t be having this correspondence, would we?

I look forward to your reply and/or your apology. Thank you.

Sincerely disgusted,
Chris Franklin