Category Archives: Celebrities

Shit Vids: Scott Stapp – “Will Soar”

Are you hearing this more like a speech?”

What makes Scott Stapp more retarded: the fact that he’s wearing tearaway basketball joggers and no shirt, or the fact that he spells “soar” sore? Pause at 1:12 for optimum enjoyment:

Jezy

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WTF: Billy Pumpkin Bully Pulpit’s Congress

First of all, let me acknowledge that I’m well aware that the term “bully pulpit” is pejoratively misused in the title of this post.  I understand the true definition of the term, as coined by Theodore Roosevelt.  However, jackin’ the shit out of the English language is sometimes the only way to come up with a blog title.  Especially when you are lazy.

Now that that’s out of the wiz-ay, the following is a video of Billy Corgan testifying before the Hiz-ouse Judiciary.  See, I tried to jazz that sentence up so that you wouldn’t be asleep by the time you reached “House Judiciary”.  I hope that when I finally go completely bald I don’t become as big of a prick as Billy Smashkins has become in the past few years.  Zero.

Chris

By the Time I Get to Phoenix

By now everyone has seen Joaquin’s clusterfuck of a meltdown/Crispin Gloverimpersonation on David Letterman.  Personally, I still think it’s all an act, and as briefly entertaining as that act may be, nothing comes close to the life of Harmony Korine.

Korine, creator of such family classics as Kids, Gummo, Julien Donkey-Boy, and Mister Lonely, has been doing this since 1973.  He’s the kind of guy who choosesto hang out with Werner Herzog and write movies about adolescents smoking crack.  And raping each other.  And drowning cats.  And, you know, Disney stuff.  So until Spiritualized starts writing songs called Joaquin 4, I need more awesome proof of his perpetual meltdown.

Here’s Harmony’s second appearance on Letterman (yeah, second):

The best way to watch Kids is with a handful of anti-depressants.  Or on Valentine’s Day (you’ll have to wait until next year).

Chris

Harvey Pekar to Speak at Denton’s NX35

DENTON – February 9, 2008 – The NX35 Music Conferette is proud to announce the addition of legendary comic writer and jazz critic Harvey Pekar to the March conference’s panel and conversation series. The Cleveland native is best known as the writer of American Splendor, the famed autobiographical comic book series that has profiled Pekar’s life for over 30 years (and received a film adaptation in 2003). Additionally, for over a decade, Pekar has contributed countless jazz and book reviews to outlets such as National Public Radio and the Austin Chronicle. . . [read more]

Catty Fashion Commentary Monday

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Image: AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian 

“What could distract people from my Independent Woman Making a Really Bad Permanent Choice Tattoo” asked Diablo Cody, scribe of “Juno” (which for the longest time I thought was a documentary about the Canadian version of the Grammy Awards)?  “Ah yes…I could wear my very best Hanna-Barbara dress!  And then I can make people uncomfortable by crying like Trader Joe’s just ran out of granola suppositories!  Maybe that would distract people from noticing my movie was really just “Ghost World” with a fertilized egg!  I even have Thora Birch’s haircut.  Honest to blog!”

The Bourne Dependency” won a bunch of awards no one really cares about.  I know I’m not the only one who saw “Good Will Hunting” and thought, “Gee, I sure hope that geeky Matt Damon guy goes on to become the next Pierce Brosnan action hero.” 

The Next Tupac and Biggie Beef

I have about as much interest in the Grammy Awards as I do in the size of Scott Stapp’s underwear.   Buuuuuttt, I think we were all intrigued by this…

So, I think it is safe to assume that either Vince or Kanye will be gunned down outside a Las Vegas fight by year’s end.  My bet’s on Kanye firing the first shot, but with Vince dealing the deathblow.  I imagine The Big Daddy Gill has more NRA friends.  Unless a pair of those sunglasses Kanye is willing to fly to Japan for also shoots lazers.  Which isn’t too unfathomable.  Have you seen what the Japanese can do with their toilets?

Jumping Ship

Ricco!!!
Image: Vh1
    Last night Hillary acted like she was going to give Obama an “F” for improperly citing his Freshman Comp paper.  That’s entertaining, but not nearly as culturally important as finding out who would flip out in this week’s episode of “Celebrity Rehab“! 
     It was the lovely Ricco meathead maid’s turn to (once again) act like the kid at 6th grade camp (Camp Goddard, Lake Arbuckle yo!) who jumped on my bed with his muddy Air Jordans. 
     The group travelled to Catalina Island, which I hoped would culminate in some hardcore golf cart races.  My one trip to Catalina included: 1. nearly riding off a cliff into the ocean on a rented bicycle and 2. trying not to throw up on the choppy boat ride back to the mainland.  It never even crossed my mind to jump off the boat.  This was the same week that Jimmy Stewart died, so the Meaning of Life had kind of jumped the shark anyway. 
And here’s a song!: